STRANGE QUOTES
Quotes By Famous People
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," - Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." - Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Al Gore, Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." - Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
''I gave up drinking in 1969, and let me tell ya... it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.'' - George Best
"There are known knowns - things we know we know. There are known unknowns - things we know we don't know. And there are unknown unknowns - things we don't know we don't know." - Colin Powell
"I've got a celebrity in my ear!" - Hugo Fargass "Huggy Bear"
Quotes By Strange People On The Internet
"Porn movies are so predictable - they always end up having sex"
"I'm wearing girl pants and it's SO weird!"
"My brain not only switches off, it sometimes leaves completely!"
"I've got a plastic keyboard with letters and numbers on it. The revolution of keyboards has come so far..."
"My son is not a boat!"
"When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up reading"
"I love Takahiro Sakurai - he's so adorable! He'd be even more adorable if he wasn't dribbling in that picture..."
"I'm on a quest to make this forum communist."
"Personally, I think that one day I'll find some physics law to be incorrect and everything will just implode."
"Clench your groin in excitement!"
"Well today I chased a cat around someones house because when it meowed it sounded like a little girl, which fa-reeked me out."
"I did my work experience in a fire station and it was amazing.
The best story - watching the fireman fight over who got the scone with the most raisins in it! (Seriously!)"
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."
"That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything. You're a bit cold? Tea. Your boyfriend has just left you? Tea. You've just been told you've got cancer? Tea. Co-ordinated terrorist attack on the transport network system bringing the city to a grinding halt? TEA DAMMIT!"
"Hop aboard the chocolate train for Michael Jackson's Chocolate Fatory!"
"In the house...all day...on a bank holiday....why didn't you go to Rhyl or something?!"
"I think we should execute a perfectly precise plan to get all Big Brother housemates with equal votes - so that not one of them ends up with more than the others, or less.
Then we evict, publicly humiliate, and murder them all. Done and dusted.
Ring 09068 KILL BIGB to include the bosses behind it in the slaughtering, too. Calls charged at national rate. Or text KILLALL to 80018. Texts cost 25p plus standard network rate. But it's all worth it, right?" 
"All hail our new communist leaders 
"
Jackie Stallone - Celebrity Big Brother
"Who's Big Brother?" 
After her first visit to the Diary Room - "Is Big Brother a computer?"
"Is John bi-polar or has he had a stroke?"
"Theses tasks, couldn't we just bake cakes? I thought they'd have us out visiting hospitals."
"Look at all that washing up, they should get someone in to do it."
"I can't sleep with women, it's against my nerves...I sleep with dogs, they're very comforting."
"What was he doing, taking a shower? Is he crazy?"
"Is England still on the map or have they moved it?"
"I'm just going to go to bed for 4 days. Check my pulse to see if I'm still alive once in a while."
"You could send a harpist in to play while we're having dinner. You could gag her so she doesn't speak."
Jackie: "What's this?"
Bez: "It's my bed, I'm letting you have it to sleep in."
Jackie: "Is that for punishment? why is it up there?"
Bez: "It's a bunk bed."
Jackie talking about John: "Life's tough enough without being insulted by a nobody. Has he looked in the mirror lately?"
"A bottle of wine for lunch would enhance my life."
"Where's my wine? Has somebody gone to get my wine? Is bigbrother bringing my wine?"
"Tell Big Brother he can kiss my ass."
"Bez can barely speak English - he may as well speak Chinese."
Big Brother: "Can a housemate please come to the diary room."
Jackie: "Why would anyone want to go to the diary room, are they mad?"
Jackie to Kenzie: "...the little kid, what's your name?"
"They need to give me an incentive to stay - like a TV in my room & champagne."
"Anyone who watches this show night after night after night needs to do something with their life."
"I've never been so tortured in my life."
"I never suffered so much in life."
"I've never had a meal in my life without fine wine."
"This is the nearest thing to being in a nursing home. What is the purpose of Big Brother?"
John storms off from the dinner in a huff.
Bez shouts: "Are you not eating your dinner John?"
Jackie : "Leave him alone. He will be OK. He didn’t get like he is today by not eating."
Jackie to John: "Whats your speciality besides being a pain in the ass ?"
"If this is your act, fine, If not I suggest you use your money for psychiatric help."
"Research?! I've never heard of this shit show."
John: "If Jackie hadn't of come I would of gone first."
Jackie: "Hey son if I knew you were here, I'd never of even bothered coming to start with."
Interview with Davina: "I am a wreck, I need a vacation"
Strange Quotes By Final Fantasy Fans
"Now, you see, fandom is very clear on this - when Vincent gets drunk he wakes up with Cid!"
"If Kadaj was a woman he'd be so hot!"
"It seems that every time Cloud tries to have that angry/pissed expression he has when he faces enemies and such, he ends up looking...retarded. In a retarded kind of way."
"Help me get a free PSP via a pyramid scheme."
"Psst...y'know, Jenova, Kadaj has your head in that box he's always carrying around."
"LOL! Drae-Drae the pink bunny rabbit has such pretty ears. *pulls them* Is Drae-Drae hungry? *dangles pink lettuce*"
"*Places hand on your head* I name you Arch Angel. Let us all walk together, rid the Planet of the heathens that plague this land."
"... So what IS Final Fantasy? It has a good storyline, men cry playing it and Cloud always wins."
"They're hidden inside your hard drive. Quick! Open up your computer case and smash open the hard drive!"
"The Silver Haired Men, as they're mysteriously refferred to as, are in fact a clone of Mafia movie stars led by Kuja from Final Fantasy IX. The Loe Pesci clone got fed up and killed the Danny DeVito clone, and the Marlon Brando clone took out the Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino clones for disrespecting him. Thus, only a mad Sicilian and a snarky Capone guy were left to carry on the legend."
"I was jealous of Cloud so much that when I went through pubity I think my body made me grow to look like him."
"I am the sole owner of Lord Kadaj's pants...I STOLE 'EM AND HID THEM FAR FAR AWAY, THEY'RE MINE NOW!!!"
"Donate to Advent Children.net...or maybe Sephiroth will burn your town down next..."
"My reaction to purchasing Final Fantasy VII Advent Children would be to run around screaming, if I had preordered it, give the UPS guy a kiss and a hug, ask his name so I can put him on my list of Greatest People On Earth, run down the street yelling, "I HAVE ADVENT CHILDREN, I HAVE ADVENT CHILDREN!" then throw myself on the ground hugging my DVD, then go and invite people over to watch it with me. Oh yeah, and dream about it during school...the day it comes out."
Cloud:" I think..that I want to be forgiven...yes, I want to be forgiven."
Aerith: "And I want those cute little flip-flops with the flamingo pattern on the bottom. Do you have any gil?"
Cloud: "I think...that I want to be forgiven...yes, I want to be forgiven."
Aerith: "*laughs* By who?"
Cloud: "Sephiroth, you daft cow! Where are you hiding him?! Tell me where he is or you'll be sleeping with the fishes. I mean, even more so."
"The only reason that only Sephiroth can use that sword is because he's just so hot."
"Haha that freakin rhymes...Ann and Japan... >_<"
"How's my favourite boy bitch?"
"As a Sephyist I say...DIE CLOUD FOLLOWERS, DIE!!!"
"It kinda makes you wonder if Sephiroth is in other parts of the movie in the background. It's kinda like where's Waldo or something. LOL, that would be so funny to see Square-Enix do that, there should be an extra on the DVD - wheres Sephiroth? Or it could be a contest...people send in how many times they think they saw Sephiroth and where and whoever gets it right first wins something."
"Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Gary'"
"Much like the Mako reactors of ShinRa Inc. sucking the life out of the helpless planet, we fans of FFVII and FFVII AC are equally helpless as the mega-pain-in-the-ass-corporation that is Square-Enix sucks away our patience and sanity."
Very Strange Quotes By Final Fantasy Fans
"Yeah man, Yazoo's totally gay, he probably wants his brothers...and Reno...he totally wants Reno."
"Yazoo has a fine ass...so he can be yaoi if he wants to...mmm...I know some guys who wanna bang up Yazoo...whoo!"
"Yazoo needs lovin, I don't care from whom he gets it but hey with an ass like that why not, I mean it doesn't compare to Kadaj's but you know he is probably looking..."
"Hey, they're brothers...a nice ass runs in the family...whoo! But Kadaj was the one most gifted of all. Poor Yazoo...trying to live up to his brother...I'll love you Yazoo! *runs off with Yazoo*"
"You go ahead and think your dull, hetero thoughts, Sion_Hayabusa. I will go ahead and think mine...
*cartoonish daydream bubble appears over my head*
"The private lives of the SHM..."
Yazoo: Oh! I love it when you take time to spend with me, dear brother. Please, lavish me with your tender love.
*Kadaj bitch smacks Yazoo*
Kadaj: I love whipping your ass into shape! Who pwns you?? Tell me! Tell me now!
Yazoo: You, Kadaj, only you!
*Kadaj pulls out a whip and begins to beat Yazoo just as Loz walks in, pumping iron.*
Loz: Ewww, you guys are gross. I'm outta here.
*Loz leaves, doing more reps. However, something rustles near the door bringing your attention to the figure by the door*
Reno: Umm, I'm not here.
*Yazoo and Kadaj give each other a look. Yazoo shrugs and Kadaj glances at Reno before cracking his whip*
Kadaj: Whatever.
*Kadaj goes back to work as Reno dies of as excesive nosebleed in the corner*
The end!
Looking at Yazoo and Kadaj's fine asses almost makes me want to be a boy to be yaoi-licious with them... almost.
I mean... multiple orgasms are too good of a thing to pass up."
"Hetero = straight."
George W Bush
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
"After all he claimed he invented the internet. But, if he's so smart, how come every internet address begins with "Dubya"?
"If this were a dictatorship it'd be a heck of alot easier...just so long as I'm the dictator."
Bush: Athens, Texas?
Reporter 1: Ol...the Olympics, in Greece.
Bush: Oh, the Olympics? No, I'm not.
Reporter 2: Have you been watching them?
Bush: Oh, yeah, yeah, it's been exciting.
Reporter 2: Any particular moment stand out?
Bush: Umm -- particular moment? I like the -- let's see -- uhhhm -- Iraqi soccer. I liked -- I liked seein' the Afghan woman carryin' the flag comin' in. I loved, uhh -- you know, our gymnasts. I've been watching the swimming. I like th' -- I've seen a lot, yeah. Listen, thank you all.
aren't looking.
2. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
3. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
5. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
to join in.
spray air fresheners.
7. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
8. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
9. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
10. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.
11. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what
happens.
12. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10".
13. Play with the automatic doors.
14. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen
you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.
15. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?"
16. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
17. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're
taking it for a "test drive."
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the
department.
19. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.
20. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
21. Put M&M's on layaway.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from
the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any
Shnerples here?"
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible."
35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I
need some tampons!!"
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
restrooms
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those
voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little
umbrella in it.
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice
possible "sex and candy"
52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.
53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.
54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run
between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act
as spastic as possible.
59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and
women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with
various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you
and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is
breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you
do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME
darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto
the ground screaming and having convulsions.
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people
out.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of
shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the
boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another
girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy
shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they don't realize it!
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean
in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front
of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the
perfume!!"
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds.
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like
crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was
the biggest ****rouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!
Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a
prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to
people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your
friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those
electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they
don't know you.
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend
that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over
wanting to use it, start barking at them until
they run away crying.
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your
friend.
80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of
french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say
"Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you
say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from
Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like
everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away
mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-
like as you can
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all
your friends seem to have a rash too.
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old
girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should
sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly
good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta
Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.
85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
and legs around like your having some kind of massive
seizure.
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.
87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your
walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to
go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then
quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away
as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while
singing the circus song.
89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department
90. Put lingerie in the men's department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn
around.
92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that
someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over,
start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little
attention" Then run away crying.
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,
start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just
stay mesmerized.
94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in
my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming
"NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and Calmly say "I...will start...a fire..." The pull out a
zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't
light the zippo, just hold it closed.
95. Light a match under a spinkler.
96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I
warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get
my shot gun." Then walk away.
97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my
god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him.
Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me?!" Then
walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.
98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your
watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get
paid enough to do this job."
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen
my mommy?"
101. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
102. Steal a Walmart T-shirt. The possibilities are endless.
Bonus: Do all of the above on the same visit.
Strange Quotes By Angry Marmite Fans
I like to rub it on my chest.
I love the way its brown and thick,
I love to lick it off a stick.
I eat marmite every day,
I eat marmite in every way.
I like it on toast, or even bread,
I lick it off my boyfriends head.
The best thing in the world to me,
Is eating marmite frequently.
That extract of the yeast,
turns me into a hungry beast.
If i was a jar of marmite it would be ace!
Store me in a cool a dry place.
Spread me with your bread and cheese,
I won't resist I'm yours with ease.
Take off my lid and take a look,
Dip in your finger, give it a suck!!"
BURN BURN U BURN
MARMITE IS NICE AS A SANDWICH
IF U LIKE U CAN LICK IT OFF YOUR LOVER!"
"...and here comes Damon Hill in the Williams!!!! This car is absolutely unique! Except for the one behind it....which is exactly the same..."
"...the enthusiastic enthusiasts... "
"You might not think that's cricket, and it's not, it's motor racing."
"Senna 1st, Prost 2nd and Berger 3rd. That makes up the top four!"
"We're now on the 73rd lap and the next one will be the 74th."
"I'll stop my startwatch"
"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go."
"... Mansell can see him in his earphone..."
Murray: "So Bernie, in the seventeen years since you bought McLaren, which of your many achievements do you think was the most memorable?"
Bernie: "Well I don't remember buying McLaren."
Murray: "What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!"
James: "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone's car."
Murray: "There's a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari."
James: "No Murray, that's his rear safety light."
"...and he's lost both right front tyres."
"...and there's no damage to the car...except to the car itself."
"Alesi is in second place and Hill is in second place..."
"As you can see, visually, with your eyes..."
"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"
"..and Damon Hill is following Damon Hill."
"With Alesi in 4th and 5th."
"Schumacher has made his final stop three times!"
"Nigel Mansell had a problem with the wheel-nut on his Williams, then he went on to win brilliantly for Ferrari!"
"And the car upside down is a Toyota!" (Toyotas slogan is "The car in front is a Toyota.")
"I didn't see the time, largely because there wasn't one."
"The two Britons running in second and third, Irvine and Fisichel...Herb...er...oh..."
"And the track temperature has in fact risen in degrees!"
"I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are unimaginable!"
"And that piece of water on the right is not the St. Lawrence Seaway, it is the Olympic rowing strip which I have walked down."
Murray: "First man out is Marques in the Arrows. Of course he's going out early to generate some media interest."
Martin: "I'm sure he would generate some interest if he went out in the Arrows because Marques drives for Minardi."
"Well, now, Villeneuve is now twelve seconds ahead of Villeneuve."
"I've no idea what Eddie Irvine's orders are, but he's following them superlatively well."
"I don't know my Madrids from my Jerez" (Brundle then chuckled 'Shall I cancel my hotel in Madrid then?')
"Frentzen is taking, er...reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen."
Murray: "Ferrari won't be developing their car anymore this season."
Brundle: "How do you know that?"
Murray: "I was there when I said it."
"They're both super starters, but Mika Hakkinen is a superer starter!"
"There is a man with a great Grand Prix future behind him!"
"There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire."
"The first four cars are both on the same tyres."
"Except for his car, he's the only man on the track."
"And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place."
"The crowd holds its joint breath!"
"Look up there! That's the sky!"
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"
"It's raining and the track is wet."
"Even in five years time, he (Coulthard) will still be four years younger than Damon Hill."
"His hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."
"Ralf Schumacher has been upstaged by the teenager, Jenson Button, who is 20."
"He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed."
"He's pushing that Mercedes Bengine... Benz engine ..."
"Heinz Harald Frentzen has already won three Grands Prix this year - two of them last year..."
"And for some really superb driving...watch THIS!!!" (Followed by a crash.)
"The Arrows is in! The mechanics attack the car!"
"The faster he goes the quicker he'll get to the pits. The slower he goes the longer it will take."
"And once again the determination, the sheer grit, the driving skill and the tactics of Alan Jones allied to the legendary reliability of the Williams is paying off..." (Then) "Jones is in TROUBLE!!!"
"Michael Schumacher has just gone round in 1.4 seconds!"
"Schumacher is the fastest man on the track. He's going round quicker than anybody else."
"Twenty four points for Schumacher, twenty three points for Hill, so there's only one point between them if my mental arithmetic is correct."
" ...and Edson Arantes di Nascimento, commonly known to us as Pele, hands the award to Damon Hill, commonly known to us as...um...Damon...Hill ..."
Murray: "And Barrichello has a good chance to pass Trulli here..."
Martin: "Actually, those waved yellow flags will prevent that in this section."
"Once again Damon Hill is modest in defeat."
"Michael Schumacher is leading Damon Hill by four tenths of a second or so, because it's moving...and that's not four tenths of a second, that's Michael Schumacher!"
"And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it's Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit...and Damon Hill is in the pit...no, it's Michael Schumacher!"
"Coulthard leads the Europe GP, and now all he needs to do is avoid trouble...OH THATS COULTHARD OUT!!!"
Murray: "Thats a Benetton upside down"
Martin: "It's a Sauber"
"Hill congratulates Schumacher. They are not bosom buddies, but they're not far off!"
"And that's an engine blowing!! It's....it's Damon Hill...euggghhh..."
"He doesn't know - but if anyone knows, he would."
"Alesi is in second place with Hill in second place!"
"And on lap 72 out of 71 Damon Hill leads!"
"...the yellow intimidating colour of that Ferrari ..."
"That's history. I say history because it happened in the past."
"...in fact IF is F1 spelt backwards!"
"So let's assume that Michael Schumacher wins this race, whoa!" (Schmacher slides on a white line just as Murray talks about him.)
"You can't see Alesi's Ferrari because it isn't there!"
Murray: "Now we go on to another 16 races, the next one is at Brazil, Sao Paulo, in two weeks time."
Martin: "I'm going to Malaysia, first, Murray."
"This will be Williams' first win since the last time a Williams won."
"Ralf Schumacher has recovered..." (As he says the word "recovered", Ralf goes off.)
"If that isn't a lap record I'll eat the hat I don't normally wear."
"And the Williams pit are getting ready for Hill, the tyre coolers are coming off!"
"Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position."
"And there's the man in the green flag!"
"The Jordan factory is at the factory gates."
"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."
"Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."
Strange Pictures
Takahiro Sakurai
Final Fantasy
bravenet.com